My skin is a gorgeous blue. It’s the kind of luminescent blue you might see sparkling off the coast of a Greek Island. I must say, the colour is so perfect, so transformative, it relegates all tiny scars, dark spots and wrinkles to another plane from which they become invisible.
Or maybe it’s just that I’m so mesmerized by my blue skin that I fail to notice said flaws.
If James Cameron were to drive by my house today, I’m positive he’d pull his Chevy Volt over to the curb and cast me as the new lead in Avatar 2. (I played the ghost of Christmas Present in my eighth grade production of “A Christmas Carol”, so I do have some acting experience. And besides, how hard could it be to pretend to fly one of those Mountain Banshees anyway? I want a purple one, just saying.) I didn’t do it to become famous, I swear. The blue skin is just the result of a fabulous cosmetics experience gone wrong.
It all began with this:
My summer nail colour pick was Essie’s Beach Bum Blu. Beautiful, isn’t it? I still think it is. Everytime I look at it, it fills my heart with thoughts of days at the beach, icy drinks and cool summer tunes. When I stood in the store under the perfect florescent lighting, looking at all the thrilling nail colours, I grabbed this one and carefully placed in it my basket after a long, long debate. And don’t get me wrong, this is absolutely stunning. And it stayed on forever. (Seriously, have you seen all the colours? Essie’s colour concoctions are breathtaking.)
And then my wonderful friend sent me this:
It’s called Go Overboard! Crazy pretty, right? It’s almost the same…but darker and shinier. Shinier! But the shiny is what gets me every time. I swear, if the diet industry had any sense, they’d make every low-fat, low-calorie, low-taste item with sparkly packaging. It’d get every single woman out there to buy it. And we’d be happier in so many ways (and maybe even thinner! Just think of it!).
But as the summer draws to a close, I feel the need to change things up. Gone are the cute sandals that show off those pretty blue polishes. Pretty soon, every foot in the Canadian landscape will be heavily ensconced in wool socks. And so I decided to change my nail polish to something more reserved, something less blue.
Only, I didn’t count on the fact that taking the stuff off completely would result in me being Smurfified. Yes, Smurfified. It’s a word, people. Hands, feet, anything that touched the nail polish coming off…a beautiful, glorious blue. Oh, don’t get me wrong, dear Essie people. I’ll probably put some equally appealing and yet appallingly difficult to remove colour on my nails next summer. No worries there. I still love the bones of you. But for now, I’m going with the coverage of the ever perfect Ballet Slippers. (Honestly, why do you even make any other colours????)
So, as long as Mr. Cameron doesn’t mind his Avatars with silky pale pink nails that would look equally perfect at the Royal Baby’s christening, I’m sticking with pink. Hopefully, this lovely blue will fade in time for Christmas. I’m not sure how it’s going to look against all that red and green. Wish me luck!